so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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