Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize