And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
