Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
