isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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