Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
