He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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