Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
