my soul wont recognize me after tonight
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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