I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
