When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Randomize
