he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
