does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
