He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
