Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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