We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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