Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
