jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I came so hard my ears popped.
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