I will die if light touches me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
