i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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