critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
