Pappa wants mamma naked
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
