My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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