Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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