just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize