How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
