Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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