singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My breasts were aching with rage.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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