Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize