I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
