I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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