Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
