How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
