after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had to cum in my sink.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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