Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
