Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize