I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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