Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
