My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
