When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
