the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
