After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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