I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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