this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
