i may or may not be watching the land before time
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
