I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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