I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
