i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
