ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
