Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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