Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
