He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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