a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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