dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
