shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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