He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
