So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
