make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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