I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
