she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
