I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
