I love black thongs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
