the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
