Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
